A Mommy's job

Ok, so let's get real. A major part of a parent's job is cleaning up the messes. I'm not talking the shoes in the family room. I'm talking about the messes no one ever discusses! The messes that REALLY could be on fear factor!! The stuff which makes you question if your kids are even human!! Yesterday, it was so bad I was waiting for David's head to spin all the way around with the stuff that was projecting out of him!!!
But it's in these moments when a mommy super power activates and you just react! Somehow you find the stomach, the patience, and a few extra set of hands to make everything ok! Now, this may sound crazy but its in these very moments when I love my kids the most!! Why?! Because It's in these moments that I am reminded what is truly important. I am such a lucky girl! My kids are my everything and my hubby is the best copilot a girl could ever ask for!!(; And yes it is while I was figuring out how to dig out the vomit from the carseat buckles that I couldn't help but realize this!!(;
Hugs and Raspberries!
L



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The Holidays

I remember when I first moved out of the house, the holidays were the hardest time for me. Why? Because no one makes comfort food like MY family. I was SO home sick one year I called my grandpa (shout out to up above, I miss you Guppy!) and asked him just to describe the amazing food I was missing! That year, my grandpa actually mailed me some turkey and stuffing to make me feel better. No, there is no refrigeration in regular postal trucks but I never told him that!(;
This is why for me, the holidays are like a 2 month long love letter to everyone in my life. I started this tradition while JC was going through Medical School. Every holiday, I would cook the foods I loved for our friends, hoping I could make everyone, including myself, feel a little less homesick.

Now that we have our own family, the tradition continues. It's a bigger group (about 30-50) but I really do love every moment of cooking the holiday meals. You see, these foods ARE my family! I roast my turkey in a roaster just like my grandpa roasted his turkey. I baste my turkey with champagne, just like my dad did. I make my mom's corn bread stuffing and my aunt Irene's ham. And Christmas? That's my cousin's brittle, my grandma eva's cookies, my aunt's pumpkin bars, and my grandma Lorenza's tamales (last shout out to the original L! I miss your laugh AND your flying chanclas!).

Over the years I have changed these foods to make them my own, but every time I cook these meals I think of those who mean the most to me and remember the years of family memories that I hold dear. And the best part?  Watching my daughter make the cookies her grandma taught her to make! The legacy continues!(; For me, food is love and the holidays are a time to share this love.

So if anyone needs some extra love, come on over! The kitchen is open!

Happy Holidays!

L

Do kids need personal days?

Figuring out if your child should stay home from school is something I struggle with pretty regularly. Both me and my husband come from the mindset that personal and sick days are only to be used if you have just lost a limb or have been hospitalized. But all this changed for me a year ago when David's kinder teacher called me and said "David just wasn't himself".  I jumped in my car and rushed over to see a smiling kid flirting with the school nurse!! But since I was there I followed the usual routine of asking him to jump ten times, he was laughing and jumping, so I sent him back to class. 15 minutes later I get another call from his teacher, David had returned to class only to throw up on the playdough table!!! That is probably my worst parenting moment ever!! I was so embarrassed!! I had just traumatized not only my own kid but an entire kindergarten class!!! Since that day, I am overly cautious, frightened of making another mistake.

So, this morning I needed to make that decision again, but this time it was Lena. Yesterday, Lena came home with a fat lip after being elbowed in the face while playing basketball. At first, it didn't seem that bad but by the time bedtime rolled around my poor baby's bottom lip was HUGE! Now, for anyone this would be embarrassing, but for an 8th grade girl this is the end of the world! This morning when she woke up, the swelling had gone down, but it still was noticeable. So do I send her to school? I didn't share my struggle with her, but I really didn't know what was the best thing to do. At one point she came out of her room with a pink fan and said she was going to ask all her teachers if she could put it over her face during class!! OMG, am I a terrible mom if I send her? Will I traumatize her for life by making her show up with a fat lip? I can't have 2 kids with Playdough stories!!!

I started to drive them both to school, even though I hadn't fully made up my mind. As we are driving, Lena starts to explain to David how she can't even eat because of the swelling. I silently decide today is a good day for a personal day for Lena and start to figure out how I'm going to make it happen when Lena says..."Hey mom, can I stay after school to help out the book fair?"

At least for today, Lena does not need a personal day...

Hugs and Raspberries

L

Yup, I'm 40!

Now that the birthday excitement has passed, its time for me to get real about turning 40. About 6 months ago it started to really hit me, 40 years old! WTF??!! How did my 30's go by so quickly? I honestly feel like  I went to sleep a 30 year old young mother of one and woke up with a teenager and a 7 year old, a career, a mortgage and even a retirement plan! Where did the time go? And was I where I wanted to be? I took a really hard look at my life and decided that if I was not happy with any part of it NOW was the time to change it! So the changes began, exercise more, eat less, more date nights, more laughter, NO MORE spanx, more play, more sleep, more education, more time working on my classes, more cooking, more travel!!! Yup,  I was Veruca Salt and I wanted the world, The WHOLE World!
I did lose weight, became a better teacher, a better mom, a better wife (well at least a slightly hotter one) and then it hit me, I really am one hardworking, lucky lady who is really hard on myself! No, I'm not and will never be perfect. My kids are not perfect. My life is not perfect. But it is so much more than I ever imagined it would be. I will always strive to be better at everything, its just who I am! But that doesn't mean I am not grateful and happy with what is right in front of me.

Yup, I'm 40 and loving it!(:

Hugs and Raspberries

L

That Tricky Silent E

Teaching kids to read is tough because there are so many exceptions to the rules. To make it easier I created little sayings to remind the kids to take a 2nd look at certain words. For example, every time we come across an E at the end of a word, I would say, "There is that tricky E what does that mean?"

Today as I was giving Lena the "be kind to get what you want" speech my phone rings and it is the car dealership telling me that miraculously my car is done after I gave them a very firm talking to yesterday afternoon. I started to wonder am I being hypocritical? I was so sweet to the car people yesterday and they took advantage of my kindness! It wasn't until I turned on the Bitchy Lisa that something got done. Now I didn't yell at the guy or attack him , I just tactfully explained my expectations and he responded by making it happen. So am I teaching my kids the wrong thing? Kindness doesn't always work. So how do you teach your kids to be kind but also stand up for themselves when they are being taken advantage of? I've talked about this before, Lena is very similar to me in terms of her personality. Both of us were born with a natural tactfulness. This is a natural skill and if used correctly can be a strength, but if not developed appropriately can turn into more of an obstacle. For David, he seems to have been born with the understanding that sweetness gets him what he wants and with most people this works for him most of the time.  But when things do not go his way, it seems to effect him deep in his core and it takes him longer to bounce back.

So, what is the answer? I guess there are exceptions to every rule....maybe I'll call this one the Silent B! (;

Hugs and Raspberries
L

Highs and Lows

Wow! It's been 2 months since my last blog? Where does the time go? These past two months have definitely had their highs and lows. Today's blog is all about the lows..These past fews days I have been trying to prepare for July 22nd. This day will be one of the days which define me as a parent. I think we all have those parent defining moments, its just that usually we are given no warning! We just react as best we can, then after the fact, we sit in complete shock feeling beat up and second guessing if we had made the right move. Or is that just me? Let me give an example...I think my 1st parent defining moment with David happened at the age of 2 at Target. My lovely son decided he would throw a fit because I would only allow him to get 1 lego box. I warned him calmly that if he didn't stop asking we would leave the store empty handed. He didn't stop, so I picked him up and we left the store leaving behind a full shopping cart and the star wars lego box. He cried ALL the way home and well into the night, I knew I had done the right thing but I still felt beat up and emotionally drained. That was the one and only time David has ever thrown a fit in any store.
So back to July 22nd. This is supposed to be my daughter's first concert experience, I splurged and got the good seats for Maroon 5. All I asked her to do was improve her grades. Well, when the report cards came in in June, she had not improved and actually went down in 3 classes. That day was a tough one. My daughter tried everything! First she blamed the teachers, then the school system, then me. This was followed by the tears and lastly she just got angry. But, just like with David. I had set a limit, she did not respect it. The damage is done, the concert is off the table. Just like with David, I feel emotionally drained and beat up and I know the hardest day is still to come. So, Next Friday, me and the hubby will make a date night out of it. We will go to the concert and try to have a good time. But, it is killing us both and probably by the end of the night we both will be crying together over a few glasses of wine.

I think every single parent will or has had these parent defining moments. I remember my own defining moments with my own parents. It's a part of growing up and helps to mold our kids into who they will become. These past few weeks I have been talking to my friends and family about their parenting defining moments. Why don't we share these more? For me, it is these talks that are giving me the strength to get through July 22nd! Parenting is THE toughest job in the world and sometimes we all need back up! So shout out to my back up! You know who you are!! Bottom line, I know I have 2 amazing kids and we WILL make it through these hiccups. And if not, well, I'll pay for their therapy!(;

Hugs and Raspberries
L

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I lie to my kids, I could deny it, but I won't. I am REALLY good at it too and I am not even that embarrassed by it, I call them "functional lies"and we ALL do it!! It really does make life easier for parents and keeps the family on track. My kids still believe that I sometimes visit their schools and spy on them when in reality all I have to do is look at them when they walk through the door to see when its been a rough day. My kids still believe that somehow I have a mommy gauge which tells me when they are lying or doing something bad at home when in reality, it's the silence, lack of eye contact or that guilty face that gives them away. (my husband actually has that same guilty face, so its winning all the way around). I really do wish this skill would have been better developed when Lena was younger. I used to stress and have anxiety over every parenting move I made, wondering if I had screwed her up! Yup, 1st pancake is always the practice one(Shout out to The Middle, LOVE that show!). But now, I lie to cover my parenting butt too!! David lost another tooth this weekend and he wanted to hold off on the tooth fairy so that he could take it to school and get the special box they give to the kids who lose their tooth at school. Then, we lost the tooth!! In the olden days there would have been a huge discussion with Lena about how sorry I was, followed by me tearing the house apart to find that darn tooth!! But with David, I grabbed some pretty coins put them under his pillow which he discovered when he went to bed last night and he created the explanation!! Which he explained, "That Darn tooth fairy was just too excited!!!". Problem is solved, kid is happy, mommy is happy. I guess I am even lying to my kids about lying being bad! (: Now these are only little lies, I don't do the Big Ones!! My kids know Mommy makes mistakes, grown ups don't have all the answers, everyone has to work hard for what they want. But at least for my sanity, I decided a few years ago, lying is a parenting tool which when used for good can help you out of those rough parenting spots!! (:

Hugs and Raspberries

L

Teacher Conferences are Not for the Weak of Heart!!

Oh, the teacher conference, it's always a time of distress for me. Why? Because for both of my kids I have had the conferences which afterwards made me go home and have a good cry! With both kiddos, it's been for different reasons....
With my Lena, it was because she inherited her mother's headstrong spirit and lack of respect for those who do not respect her. I'll never forget meeting with her 1st grade teacher and being told that Lena was VERY argumentative. When I asked why she explained that Lena refused to stay in the easy reader part of the library and that she needed to stay in the early reader section of the library and stop trying to branch out and read books that were beyond her grade level!!! How does one react to that?! My first response is shame, because I am a people pleaser and I want my kids' teachers to like me and my kids!! But, then that is replaced with anger, how dare she try to limit MY genius daughter!! This also came up again in 4th grade when my daughter really didn't mesh with her teacher and didn't hide her lack of respect for her. With Lena, I had to teach her very early on in life that ignorance has no age limit! (; But the way she responds to it really can influence her success. So sometimes she will need to act like more of an adult than her teachers, choose her battles, and keep her eye on her dreams and goals.
Then there is my David who has been able to win a room over since birth. For him, it's been about academics. My baby was a late bloomer in his verbal skills which resulted in a lag in his academic development. So, at 5 years, it was the conference with his preschool teacher explaining that she suggested I keep him for one more year in preschool that broke my heart! I felt like such a failure! I thought, if I had only read more to him or practiced his alphabet with him he would be ready in time!! Once it was decided to give him another year, I then had to meet with the district 2x because they wanted him in kinder and couldn't understand why I wasn't putting him in there!!

In both cases, you can't help but take everything personally and question your parenting skills!! But I am here to tell you, trust your instincts! I am so proud of my kiddos! Lena is now getting A's and B's on her report card and IS able to hold her tongue even though she has 2 teachers who really need to retire!! And David's verbal problems continue to improve and this week's conference was his best yet! He is writing 5 sentence paragraphs and has satisfied grade requirements already for Math, Spelling, and Reading Comprehension!(: So, I guess I'm not the most horrible mommy ever! Well, at least until the next parent conference!!(:

Hugs and Raspberries

L

Will you be my friend?

One of the reasons I started this blog is because I wanted to give a very realistic and honest account of motherhood. So, in order to do this, I must address the topic of Friends. Most new parents will not discuss this but it happens to all of us! Once you have kids, your friendships change. It's not an abrupt change but more of a gradual one. I think it's very similar to that honeymoon phase of dating. You really do fall in love with your newborn and unintentionally start creating a bubble around your new family. Of course, this bubble isn't as picturesque and is filled with late night feeding, no sleep, temper tantrums, and runny noses but it is a bubble. Then one day you catch yourself having a full blown conversation with your newborn in Target and realize you have no friends! Ok, that last part may only have happened to me, but I think parenting can sometimes be isolating. Why? Well, how exactly do grown ups make new friends? Maybe this was more difficult for me too because we moved around a lot and because I'm shy. I know, I know I fake it REAL well, but honestly I am shy and approaching people has never been easy for me. Yes, I tried making friends with my kid's school friends, play groups, exercise buddies but nothing ever felt right. But a few years ago, I started making friends again and started creating my own little village of unconditional love and support. So I hope those of you reading this have your own person or group of peeps you can call your own! And if your reading this know that I am always an email or phone call away with a open heart and a shoulder to lean on, because we all need a friend!

Hugs and Raspberries,

L


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Dear Lisa

One of the reasons I love my job is because I remember what it was like to be a bright eyed 18-20 year old. I remember sitting in my high school and junior college classes so excited, anxious and scared for the future. As I started another new class today, I began to think about an assignment one of my mentors uses in his classes. He asks his students to write a letter to themselves as a 20 year older version of themselves. What would they be doing? What would their life look at? So, I have decided to write a letter to my 18-20 year old version based on what I have learned and where I am in my life. So here it is..

Dear Lisa,

Wow! The past 20 years have been quite a ride! As I look back, I have no regrets but I do wish I could have come back in a time machine just to give you a few pointers...

First of all, go with your gut with everything you do! You are an amazing judge of character with a good head on your shoulders and both will serve you well to keep you on course. Secondly, yes you will have people who try to bring you down. Try not to let them get to you. Haters are mostly just dealing with their own feelings of insecurities. They do not know you, they do not know what you are capable of accomplishing. Thirdly, you are not fat!! Love that little body you are in! In the future you will have another body that is just as good but so not the one you started with. So, embrace your curves because girl there will be more of them to come! (: Ok, now lets talk about relationships..yes you will have crushes, heartaches, and loves. Enjoy every moment of it, even the hard times, because with every experience you will come closer to the love of your life and the father of your children. Speaking of your hubby, yes there will be hard times. Just stick together and remember you two can and will conquer the world together as best friends, companions and your own biggest fans. Now lets talk about your kids. You will be the mom of two of the intelligent, amazing, headstrong kids so pay attention in your child development classes and keep working in preschools and kindergarten classes because those skills will serve you well both at home and at work. Now on to college, enjoy every minute of it! The people, the experiences, the education! These years make you who you are and the people you meet will make you a better person. On to work, stay up with your technology! I know this may come as a surprise but deep down inside of you is a tech geek just dying to come out! In terms of work, you are going to end up in a place you never imagined but will LOVE. Just go with it, and it will land you in the exact place you are meant to be...oh and by the way buy some stock in Apple and stay away from Worldcom. 

Love you!

Lisa

Feeling Like A Rock Star

I have a special routine that I do every Friday for very selfish reasons. Since July, every Friday I wake up early, put on my mommy uniform (matching jogging suit) and volunteer in David's class for a few hours. I could lie and say I do this to help out his teacher but in all honesty I do this because I feel like a rock star! You see, I don't think there is a better feeling then when your kids show pride in sharing you with their friends and having you in their lives. I LOVE the smile David gives me when I'm in his class and he looks up at me. I play over and over in my mind how he says "Hi Mom" every time he passes me to put something away.  I know someday David will be embarrassed by me but until that day comes, I am going to milk this for all that its worth!(: I know my days of feeling like a rock star with Lena are numbered...but I did see a glimmer of hope the other day when I did the unthinkable. Lena came home pretty depressed because their color guard coach had quite which means until further notice there will be no more parades or performances. I saw her sadness and wanted to fix it, so after thinking about it for 3 days, I composed an email offering to take over as the color guard coach. But before hitting the send button  I called Lena over and read her the email not really sure what kind of a reaction I would get from her. I was so surprised because as I read it to her a huge grin came over her face. It was followed up with "mommy I love you!" Lena still loves me!!! At that moment I seriously felt like a rock star!! I would do anything to have her look at me that way, even work with a group of 12-13 year olds!! Side note, I haven't heard back from the coach. Think it has something to do with my stalker behavior during parades??? Hmmmmm.....(;
So there you have it, someday I know both my kiddos will ask me to drop them off a few blocks from school, walk two steps behind me in a mall and prefer to spend more time with their friends than with me. But until that day comes I'm going to revel in these Rock Star moments!

Hugs and Raspberries
L

Happy New Year!

So, the holidays are ending and some sense of normalcy is returning to the the Rodriguez household. So of course it's time for my first blog of the new year. So what's on my mind? Resolutions of course! Yes, I would love to lose 10 pounds, finally go back to school for my doctorate, bring more technology and new activities to my classrooms, and of course continue the journey to becoming the next Ina Garten! But here's the thing, David and Lena both grew 2 inches these past 3 months!!! Lena recently asked me if she could date when she turns 14 and David is starting to read! I am finally realizing I really do only have one shot to get the whole mommy thing right. I am not saying that I am an expert at parenting or that I always say and do the right thing. I will also be real honest.. these last 3 weeks of vacation with my kiddos 24/7 has been tough with good and bad days..parenting is definitely not for the weak! But at the end of the day no matter what has transpired, I hope my kids know that they are safe and loved and have 2 people in this world who will always be there for them.
Which brings me back to this year's resolution. I have just one...This year, I promise to try to be the best parent I can be! How? Argue less and listen more, be consistent, have more sit down meals as a family with no technology allowed, have more quality time with each kid, and the hardest one of all...not be so hard on myself when they stumble.

Hugs and Raspberries,

L