Oh, the teacher conference, it's always a time of distress for me. Why? Because for both of my kids I have had the conferences which afterwards made me go home and have a good cry! With both kiddos, it's been for different reasons....
With my Lena, it was because she inherited her mother's headstrong spirit and lack of respect for those who do not respect her. I'll never forget meeting with her 1st grade teacher and being told that Lena was VERY argumentative. When I asked why she explained that Lena refused to stay in the easy reader part of the library and that she needed to stay in the early reader section of the library and stop trying to branch out and read books that were beyond her grade level!!! How does one react to that?! My first response is shame, because I am a people pleaser and I want my kids' teachers to like me and my kids!! But, then that is replaced with anger, how dare she try to limit MY genius daughter!! This also came up again in 4th grade when my daughter really didn't mesh with her teacher and didn't hide her lack of respect for her. With Lena, I had to teach her very early on in life that ignorance has no age limit! (; But the way she responds to it really can influence her success. So sometimes she will need to act like more of an adult than her teachers, choose her battles, and keep her eye on her dreams and goals.
Then there is my David who has been able to win a room over since birth. For him, it's been about academics. My baby was a late bloomer in his verbal skills which resulted in a lag in his academic development. So, at 5 years, it was the conference with his preschool teacher explaining that she suggested I keep him for one more year in preschool that broke my heart! I felt like such a failure! I thought, if I had only read more to him or practiced his alphabet with him he would be ready in time!! Once it was decided to give him another year, I then had to meet with the district 2x because they wanted him in kinder and couldn't understand why I wasn't putting him in there!!
In both cases, you can't help but take everything personally and question your parenting skills!! But I am here to tell you, trust your instincts! I am so proud of my kiddos! Lena is now getting A's and B's on her report card and IS able to hold her tongue even though she has 2 teachers who really need to retire!! And David's verbal problems continue to improve and this week's conference was his best yet! He is writing 5 sentence paragraphs and has satisfied grade requirements already for Math, Spelling, and Reading Comprehension!(: So, I guess I'm not the most horrible mommy ever! Well, at least until the next parent conference!!(:
Hugs and Raspberries
L
i remember being on the kid end of teacher conferences and dreading it. it took me a long while to learn not to take every single teacher's "objective" comments has strict instructions on how to "properly" succeed. but now i sometimes find myself oddly missing the times on teacher told you what you needed to do to succeed, "just need a little more practice with your multiplication and vocab spelling."
ReplyDeleteAh, boy I bet you only got good reviews huh?? It would be nice if in your college classes you could sit with your teacher and hear some feedback huh? Although only those instructors that you like huh?? I'd love to sit with my students and give them some feedback. I do that in one of my classes before giving out final grades so there are no surprises...
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